The Grieving Child by Helen Fitzgerald

Author:Helen Fitzgerald
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: A Touchstone Book

66. Coping techniques for fear. All of these behaviors are normal reactions and shouldn’t last for a long time. Meanwhile you can do several things to help your child through her fears, worries, and concerns.

Talk to your child. Talking is of utmost importance in soothing fears. Keeping your daughter informed and up-to-date on what is happening, who is coming to the house, and what is expected of her will help put some of this anxiety to rest (see Topic 32 ). She should also be told that she can come to you or to another person you designate for information at any time. Encourage her to ask questions, for this is the only way you can know what she is thinking.

Try to plan some time during the day or week just for your child and you. This togetherness time needs to be observed consistently so your child can count on it. It should become a time that is rich with intimate conversation and closeness (see Topic 6 ). During the hectic days following the death of my first husband, it was difficult for me to find a regular time for each of my four children. To solve this problem I used errand times for these conversations. One child would go with me to help with the errand, which always included time for a soft drink before we returned home. The children would look forward to that time and took care of their own scheduling, swapping time whenever necessary. Depending on your situation, you may find the same approach helpful, or you may have the luxury of a more leisurely pace. However you organize it, you will find that regular conversation with your child is the best antidote to his or her fears.

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